Eye Contact

A long time ago, when I was a science teacher, I learned something important about group communication.  Lori was a student in my physics class.  She had an amazing capacity for paying attention—or at least it looked like she was paying attention.  She had a way of maintaining eye contact that told me that even if other students were off task or bored, at least one student was constantly tuned in.  This left quite an impression.  It wasn't as if Lori's expression was particularly one of enjoyment or fascination.  It was just the predictable return of focused gaze that told me she was tuned in.  At the time I found this to be surprisingly reassuring, and I have since come to believe that it is so for other speakers or instructors.  What makes this doubly important is that so many people are really poor at maintaining eye contact, especially in a group setting.  Check it out sometime.  At a meeting of more than just a few people, look around the room and notice how many people are looking anywhere but at the speaker.  Most!  I have also noticed that when I give the speaker my attention by maintaining eye contact, I often find the person speaking directly at me.  Sometimes the direct address can become so disquieting that I need to look away.  All these experiences tell me that effective listening is not just a one-on-one communication skill.  In larger groups, try giving the speaker your attention as signaled by steady eye contact and see how it changes things.